Xi'an to Guilin

Distance covered since last blog: 2900km

The overnight train from Xi’an to Shanghai was much more enjoyable than my first train experience in China because thankfully we had got tickets in ‘Hard Sleeper’ class, so we had a bed each. The journey passed without incident and we arrived into Shanghai at midday. My first impressions of Shanghai were positive: clean, friendly, and absolutely brimming with incredible Chinese totty. After calming myself down, we ventured into the subway and headed for ‘East Nanjing Road’ where our hostel was. We found it with little fuss, which was a relief after Mouse revealed he had thrown the directions away by accident.

We immediately set off on one of my trademark ‘Walking tours’. First stop was a stroll down ‘the Bund’, which is an area of colonial buildings on the riverfront, which offer a lovely view of the Pudong skyline. Unfortunately it was the May Day public holiday and half the city had decended upon the Bund, so a lot of my time was spent shuffling past dawdling Chinese people. Being someone who walks quickly, over-taking slow moving people is a constant problem for me in big cities. We popped into the frankly forgettable ‘Shanghai Natural History Museum’, then proceeded on to People’s Square in the heart of the city, and finally headed home along the famous Nanjing Road. It was absolutely packed with shoppers, and I struggled to keep my cool over-taking them all. I’m not sure what they were all shopping for though – every other building was either a McDonalds or a KFC. I didn’t care for Nanjing Road and was happy to be off it. That evening we found a little local place that was serving a dish Mouse highly recommended – la mien – which literally means ‘pulled noodles’. I loved it, and will be endevouring to find it everywhere I go in China. This also seems like an opportune moment to mention that I have been fully converted to chopsticks. At first I thought they were a stupid idea, but actually they work quite well and are pretty easy to master. We tracked down a bar and watched Arsenal beat Manchester United. The atmosphere of the evening was soured sadly after I mentioned that I quite liked Chelsea, which led Mouse to call me a glory supporter. After a few beers I didn't take it very well and sat seething for the last part of the match.

The next day was primarily based around food. For lunch we tracked down a place which was serving huǒ guō (or ‘hot pot’ for those not fully versed in Mandarin). It is basically like a Chinese version of a fondu, where you cook meat and vegetables in one of two choices of broth – one spicy, one mild. It was pretty nice, but I don’t think I’ll go back and have another. For dinner was another huge bowl of la mien with some pork kebabs. Much more my thing!

We decided to move away from Shanghai and spend a day in the nearby town of Suzhou, which is described as the ‘Venice of the East’ because it is picturesque and built on a series of canals. We caught the 335km/h ‘bullet train’, and were there in no time. After checking into our hostel, we found a little restaurant where Mouse’s Chinese really came into its own. He is very modest, and always tells people that he can’t really speak any, but when it comes down to it he is pretty good. He ordered us a banquet! A chicken dish, a pork dish, an aubergine dish, an egg and tomato dish, and of course loads of rice. We got quite a lot of very good natured banter from the staff, which added to the overall enjoyment of the meal. After our feast we rented a couple of bikes from the hostel and set off on my first ever ‘Cycling tour’ of a town. Thomas was in Suzhou about a month prior to me, and stayed in the same hostel. He also rented a bike, and by the sounds of it we may well have had exactly the same bike: “The wheels were tiny, it genuinely had no brakes and lacked the most important feature in China – a bell. Luxuries such as gears were well out of the question...” A bell is most certainly crucial - Mouse had hit a pedestrain within 10 metres of the hostel. Cycling round Suzhou was a fantastic way to see the city, and I was a big fan.

This was Mouse’s last night ‘on tour’ with me before returning to Tianjin, so naturally we had to make it a big night. First of all was another huge feed, which was set up by some more brilliant Chinese from Mouse – battered pork, pork ribs, spinach, shredded potatoes and plenty of rice. Then we headed out on the town. First port of call was ‘Backstreet Bar’ where we got chatting to a bunch of young Chinese people who all spoke decent English. Mouse gave a masterclass in flirting with Chinese girls, who were eating out the palm of his hand. I got stuck speaking to ‘Jimmy’ who was a huge British pop music fan – I humoured him and we did a short duet of ‘I Want You Back’ by Take That. Jimmy and the gang had to leave, but pointed us in the direction of what they called ‘Bar Street’. That sounded ideal, so we headed towards it. We went into a place called ‘Medusa Bar’ and were immediately set upon by a couple of Chinese girls. The girl chatting up Mouse was a bit of a rotter, but the one next to me was tip-top! I bought her a peach flavoured milk (her choice!), then proceeded to give her the full-blown ‘Flirty James Mogridge’ routine. Combine that with her fascination with my eyelashes, and the result was practically a no-brainer. A Chinese pull on debut! I’d only been in the country 9 days! In celebration I bought an Australian bloke a beer, sung ‘Paradise City’ by Guns n Roses with him for a bit, then retired to bed at 3am. A day to remember!

Feeling a little bit worse for wear in the morning, we went out for some incredibly tasty baozi (steamed dumplings), did a short walking tour of the areas where bikes are prohibited, then headed back to the station and caught to bullet train back to Shanghai. Suzhou – totally dominated in 24 hours! Mouse and I parted company that evening, and I spent the rest of the day reading my book in the hostel bar (after having nipped out for a quick bowl of la mien).

I didn’t really have a whole lot planned for my day alone in Shanghai. I decided to get the subway under the river to the Pudong district and do a little walking tour. It was a lovely day, so I went down to the riverfront and soaked up some sun. I haven’t shaved in about 6 weeks, and I’m slightly concerned that when I eventually do half my face will be sun-tanned and half won’t. On my walking tour I stopped in a couple of bars for some refreshment, and was annoyed that I no longer had Mouse to help me with my Mandarin. Therefore I set off on a hunt for a Chinese phrasebook to assist me. Chinese people love it when you make an effort to speak their language. I found a foreign language bookstore, got my phrasebook, and also bought a Lonely Planet guide to ‘Vietnam, Cambodia, Loas and Northern Thailand’. I was thrilled with my new purchases and used some of my Chinese on the bar staff.

The next morning I had an early train to Wuhan, so, having packed the night before, I was able to get up at 6am and slip out of my dormitory in the dark without waking anyone up. Little did I know at the time, I had left the plastic bag with all my Lonely Planet books next to my bed. £45 worth of books lost!

My train to Wuhan was another bullet train, and covered the 900km in about 5 hours. I never really planned to go to Wuhan, but as it was where Morts and Mouse lived for a year, I felt that I should swing by and have a look. Unfortunately the first thing that happened to me outside Wuchang train station was to be massively ripped off by a taxi driver. He charged me 100Y (£10) for a 15 minute journey. I was furious, but obviously haggling is difficult when you don’t speak Chinese (and have lost your precious new phrasebook). Upon arrival at my hostel, I was immediately invited to a BBQ they were hosting that night, which I thought was very friendly of them. As it turned out, there were 17 people at the BBQ – 16 Chinese people and me. Only one person spoke English, who I immediately latched on to. Obviously I was the centre of attention, which I didn’t really mind because everyone was so friendly - a girl said that I looked like a 'pop star', and a lad called me 'handsome'. Well, what can I say? I would have to agree on both counts! The food was pretty ropey (you try filleting a fish with chopsticks! Or eating a BBQ’d chicken heart!), but it was an enjoyable evening. Afterwards, Sophie (the English speaking Chinese girl) took me down to the banks of the Yangtze river to see Wuhan by night. It isn’t the most attractive city in the world to be honest, so the view wasn’t a classic.

The next day I set off on one of my trademark walking tours. Wuhan is by far the hottest place I have been so far, so I left the hostel early to try and miss the heat. This didn’t go to plan sadly, and by 10am it was already 30 degrees, my t-shirt was drenched, and beads of sweat were dripping from my nose. It was quite a nice walk nonetheless. For lunch Sophie bought me a Wuhan speciality, re gan mien, (hot-dry noodles), which were very tasty. In the late afternoon I headed off to find a bar Morts and Mouse had recommended as good for watching live sport called ‘Blue Sky Cafe’. I spent a good 45 minutes trying to hail a taxi, but failed miserably. Some local chap obviously saw this and offered to drive me there on the back of his motorbike. What a good lad! As it turned out, I went to a different bar called ‘Brussels Beer Garden’ owned by a Belgian lad who greeted me enthusiastically. There was also a gorgeous Chinese waitress, as well a midget chef! Why would I want to go anywhere else?! I stayed in there for almost 6 hours, watching the Turkish Grand Prix, as well as some football. Man Utd beat Chelsea and will now almost certainly win the Premier League. But obviously as a glory supporter, I don’t really care.

The following day I got a 13 hour train to Guilin. Guilin is a beautifully situated city amongst a stunning landscape of kast mountains. As usual, my plan was to embark upon a lengthy walking tour of the city. This lasted about 4 hours, during which time I managed to cover the main city centre as well as the charming lakes that the city is built around. I stopped for lunch in a Spanish cafe and sat outside. This turned out to be a big mistake, because during the time it took me to eat 4 spring rolls I was photoed 8 times. Sometimes just me, but other times a Chinese person would sit on the table next to me and pose. I smiled and waved for all of them!

The girls are just as stunning here as they are everywhere else in China. When eating my lunch, I was so mesmerised by a passing beauty in a tiny denim skirt that I forgot to close my mouth when taking a sip of my drink and poured a load of beer down my t-shirt.

I have recently edited my plans, and will now be staying in China for an extra month. It may or may not have anything to do with the girls.