Guilin to Yangshuo...then back to Guilin

Distance covered since last blog: 190km

For my final evening in Guilin I headed out alone to track down a local restaurant and really try out my Chinese speaking. My plan was to do the entire thing without saying a word of English, and without resorting to simply pointing vaguely at the menu. I strolled in confidently and immediately caused a stir (not helped by the fact that I was wearing my China basketball vest). I successfully said ‘Hello. One beer please’, which she understood. But when I tried ‘Fried noodles with meat’ she stared blankly back at me. When I tried again she had a total panic and went and got 3 other members of staff. Everyone else in the restaurant was looking over and laughing. I tried again with the new staff members but was no more successful. In the end I gave up and pointed to a photo of some different noodles that was on the wall. So my attempt to speak only in Chinese lasted for 4 words. Tough language. Good noodles though!

When I got back to my hostel I noticed that one of the two ‘smoking hot Swedish girls’ from the backwaters tour that Squad and I went on in Kerala was sitting in the bar. After procrastinating for about 20 minutes, I went over to her and thankfully she remembered me. Me, her (Ida) and her friend (Faye) spent a few hours chatting and agreed to travel together to Yangshuo together the next day.

Yangshuo

I was slightly more successful in dealing with Chinese people at the bus station the next morning, when I haggled our tickets down from 30Y each, to 18Y each (I didn’t use any Chinese though – just raised my voice and pointed at numbers on a calculator). Yangshuo’s kast mountains are some of the most stunning landscape in the world, so it was a pity that it was pouring with rain. There are lots of outdoor activities to get involved in such as rock-climbing, cycling, bamboo raft tours on the river etc. But unfortunately it rained for the next 5 days, so I was ‘forced’ to stay in the hostel and frequent the bar with all the other travellers. I stayed in a hostel called ‘Monkey Jane’s’ which Thomas had mentioned in his blog. It is famous for its lively fifth floor roof-top bar and party atmosphere – I can vouch for both!

Day 1：After getting a bowl of the brilliant local rice noodles (60p), I headed straight up to the bar to see what all the fuss was about. It was all pretty chilled out at first, so I settled in with a Canadian lad named Tyler and one of the bar girls to watch ‘Quantum of Solace’ (a tricky film to explain to someone who’s English isn’t great). When the bar started to fill up, Tyler and I teamed-up and started challenging people to ‘Beer Pong’. ‘Beer Pong’ basically involves having to throw ping-pong balls across a table into the other teams’ glasses – if they go in, they have to finish their beer. Tyler and I were tipsy and overconfident, and consequently lost our first 3 games. We came back to win the next 2 though! More and more people came into the bar and everyone was getting involved in the drinking games: English, Australian, Dutch, American, Norweigian, Danish, Swedish, Israeli, French, Russian, and of course all the gorgeous Chinese bar girls. At midnight we all piled out onto the town’s main street and hit a bar full of exciteable Chinese people. They love having foreigners around, and none of us paid for a drink all night – the bar manager just kept bringing us bucket after bucket filled with cans of Budweiser! It was amazing! After lots of comical dancing and arm-wrestling tournaments, I stumbled back to the hostel at 4am.

 Me and Tyler playing Beer Pong

Day 2: I rose at about 11 and rummaged around for my iPod charger. I couldn’t find it. And on closer inspection found that my English adaptor and my precious journal were also missing. I had been so excited when I saw Swedish Ida in the bar in Guilin I had forgotten to pick anything up from the table I had been sitting at. Damn! I just had to hope that Jason, the friendly hostel owner, would keep them safe for me until I returned. I headed up to the bar and found a few other bleary-eyed people from the night before watching a strange Chinese film with (terrible) English subtitles, so I joined them. After the film a Danish chap named Jeppe (or ‘The Bearded Dane’ as I called him) suggested we get the beers in. Frankly, I was horrified at the idea, but didn't want to disappoint him, so agreed. I struggled through my first few sips of my ‘Tsingtao’, but soon enough it was going down a treat – and I was ready for Beer Pong again! Tyler wasn’t around, so I partnered up with Lisa, the good-looking Chinese girl I had been checking out the night before. We went on a huge winning streak and were just one game away from winning coverted Monkey Jane t-shirts until I choked and missed the final cup. Someone introduced the bar to a new drinking game called ‘Flip Cup’ which is incredibly fun, rowdy and involves loads of people – which is perfect for big groups of people who don’t really know each other! We managed to get two teams of five together and played for an hour or so. I turned out to be a natural – Beer Pong and Flip Cup success in the same night! Once again we headed out to the bars and did very much the same as the night before. Beer Pong Lisa tried to kiss me, but I rejected her – I was keen, but thought I would keep her waiting. I knew I had her in the palm of my hand.

Rejecting Lisa

Day 3: Ida and Faye left in the morning, so I had the whole dorm to myself. I cooked up a tub of Roasted Beef Noodles and as usual headed up to the bar to watch the days films – ‘Dead Silence’, ‘Bruno’ and ‘Kick-Ass’. I also challenged the beautiful barmaid, Kathy, to some Connect 4. We ended up playing 17 consecutive games and I was soundly beaten. There was a little bit of Beer Pong played, but this was the night dominated by a huge, 7 vs 7, boys vs girls game of Flip Cup. Some bright spark decided to play with bigger cups and demand that the boys team play topless. Things got totally out of hand, and it was one of my favourite nights of the entire tour so far. I finally let Lisa get her way.

The Topless Flip Cup lads

Day 4: My body was really feeling the burn by this time, so I didn't really achieve anything on this day. In fact, I only properly surfaced at 5pm. Lisa and I went out for some dumplings then she headed back home to Guilin with the promise that I could go and stay with her when I return. Keen! It was more sedate in the bar on this evening. Well, the ‘Topless Flip Cup’ team got together for a reunion, but we called it a night at 1am.

Day 5: Checked-out and headed back to Guilin.

So that was a day-by-day run through of my time in Yangshuo! As you can tell, I had a total sight-seeing fail, yet had some of the most fun times I have had since leaving England!

I had emailed Lisa the day before, asking for her address, but I had no response by the time I got to Guilin so I checked back into the hostel from last time. Jason had kept all the things I had left behind and immediately presented them to me on my arrival. Legend! Shortly afterwards, Lisa did get back to me and I went round to her apartment for a home-cooked meal while we watched ‘The Devil Wears Prada’. Tomato and egg (sounds rubbish, but is actually really good), beef and peppers, pork and shredded potatoes, vegetables and rice. So she can play Beer Pong AND cook. She might be a keeper! Well, for three days anyway.

I have already done all my sight-seeing in Guilin, so during the day when Lisa is at work (as an English translator for the Chinese government) I just loaf about in the old hostel. They quite like me there and don’t seem to mind the fact I spend my whole time sitting there but not buying any of their expensive food. For that, Lisa meets me in her lunch hour and takes me to little hidden restaurants in the backstreets of Guilin that serve incredible Chinese food at nothing prices – 30p for a bowl of noodles.

We met after work yesterday and went out for some nooldes with a couple of her friends. They spoke good English so it was fun. Out with the girls! They insisted that we go to a KTV bar – KTV is what the Chinese call karaoke. I was initially nervous, but decided that the best way to tackle the nerves was to throw myself into it whole-heartedly, so I took on the opening song and did ‘Everything I Do’ by Bryan Adams. I gave it my all (including an air guitar solo), and before I knew it I was hooked! I did some Beatles, some Blue, some Queen, some Black Eyed Peas. You couldn’t get the microphone out of my hand! I even tried my hand at a Chinese song – which was appauling. Afterwards we hit a bar called ‘Joyce’s’ which was packed. I was the only Westerner in the whole place and was having drinks forced on me all night, so never once had to reach into my wallet. Perfect! My status as a sex symbol in China seems to be on the rise and I had to fend off a pretty blunt advance from one of Lisa's friends (it doesn't get much more blunt than "Please come home with me, not Lisa"). It was a great night out!

Out in Guilin

We have another DVD night planned for this evening, then tomorrow I leave for Shenzhen which is on the border with Hong Kong. The end of a beautiful relationship!