Adventure Travellers - Malaysia Part I

Distance covered since last blog: 4,705km


August 11th was a date that had been on my mind for months - Sean Morton's arrival in Malaysia, and the start of a new chapter in my travels. I woke up nice and early, and set off on the 70km bus journey to Kuala Lumpur airport to pick him up when his plane landed at 11:15am. For some odd reason I couldn't find the flight from London on the Arrivals board, so went over to the Air Asia information desk to question them. The woman there told me that there was only one flight arriving from London that day, and it landed at 11:15pm. Predictably I got stroppy and refused to believe her so asked the bloke sitting next to her to double check - he confirmed it. Turns out I'd misread the email and turned up 12 hours early. So I got back on the bus to the city, spent the day milling around not really doing anything, then returned to meet him at the correct time.


Our first business was to conduct a walking tour of Kuala Lumpur, which we did in about two hours. There isn't a whole lot to see really, and once you've taken an obligatory photo of the Petronas Towers there isn't much else. Besides, it was unbearably hot so we spent a fair chunk of the afternoon enjoying the air conditioning of a shopping mall. One of the big things we hope to enjoy in Malaysia is Malay cuisine, but unfortunately for the first two days of Morts' time with me, I was struck down with a stomach bug and didn't eat for 48 hours. Not an ideal start to the tour, but things picked up. Despite my weakened state, we went for a night out in Kuala Lumpur. Our first stop was 'Reggae Reggae Bar', which we learnt later is the only bar in the city that allows under-age people in. It was pretty weird, and we got out of there sharpish and went to the more suitable area of Bukit Bingtang. It was only fractionally more suitable however, because to get in to most bars you needed to be suitably dressed - shorts and flip-flops didn't cut it with the bouncers. I spotted an Irish pub that was showing England thrashing India, so we went in for a pint there. £7 for a pint of Strongbow and £4.50 for a Carlsberg. We had one round then left. Night out fail.

Morts on the Kuala Lumpur walking tour

Malaysia is split into two parts - the Malaysian Peninsula and Borneo. Our plan was to do Borneo first, so the next day we flew to one of the main cities on Borneo, Kota Kinabalu. (Just a little aside: we went to the wrong airport in Kuala Lumpur first - I've had terrible luck there!) Kota Kinabalu is a tiny place, so after a 30 minute walking tour we headed to BB Bar, ordered a bucket of beers and spent the afternoon playing cards. The next day we caught a minibus to Mount Kinabalu with the intention of trekking up it. In hindsight I'm furious at myself for letting Morts talk me into doing this - as I proved in Nepal, I can't trek and hate almost every single moment of the trekking itself. Mount Kinabalu is over 4,000 metres tall, which is 700 metres higher than I made it in the Himalayas! Needless to say it was hideous, I completely darked out, my legs started to feel like they were going to collapse again and at about 2,300 metres a monsoon hit the mountain. This was our call to turn back having been trekking for a grand total of 2 and a half hours. My second massive trekking fail of the tour. Despite this though, the trek began the start of our time as outdoor 'adventure travellers'.

Trekking

Off the coast of Kota Kinabalu are a collection of island that make up the Tunku Abdul Rahman Marine Park, so we decided to spent the day visiting a couple of them, catching some sun and doing some snorkeling.  My swimming shorts smelt so repulsive that I abandoned them in Kuala Lumpur, so before getting over to the islands I had to buy a new pair. We found a suitable shop and were pleased to see a wide range of swimming shorts. The Medium size looked like it might be a little tight, so I bought a pair of Large without trying them on. I went into the toilet to change into them, only to find to my shock that I couldn't even squeeze them round my thighs. I went back to the shop rather sheepishly and asked if they had anything bigger. My embarrassment wasn't helped by the shop assistant yelling across the room to her friend to go into the stock room and bring out some Extra Large. I thanked them and went back to the toilet to get changed where I found to my horror that I still couldn't get the velcro bits to join round the waist! It was too much of a humiliation to go back and ask for the XXL, so I threw them in the bin and decided to just swim in my normal shorts. £3 badly spent. It's worth mentioning that Asian people are tiny and an Asian XL is in no way comparable to a European one. 


Our afternoon on the islands was very pleasant. We did lots of of snorkeling, looking at the Chinese girls on the beach, playing cards and fishing with plastic bags (crumble crisps near a shoal of fish, then creep up on them when they're not looking). This was also the day I lost my iPod. I don't need to go into detail about that - but needless to say I was pretty bummed out.

We treated ourselves the following day to a flight from Kota Kinabalu to Sandakan on other side of north Borneo, and checked into our 'jungle lodge'. It was really remote and would have been one of my favourite places so far, had it not been for the totally incompetent staff, average food and overpriced beer. They did give us a free lift to the Sepilok Orangutan Centre however, where we had a fun morning. We are in Malaysia during a monsoon season, but this doesn't stop us dressing like it's a sunny summers day, so despite the downpour we arrived at Sepilok in vests, shorts and flip flops. Obviously we didn't waste money buying waterproofs, and just elected to 'wear it' and get soaked on the feeding platform which is fully exposed to the elements. It was really worth it though, and I speak for both of us when I say Orangutans are some of the most banter animals in the world. Near Sepilok is the Rainforest Discovery Centre where we stumbled upon something that sounds like it's going to be seriously lame, but turned out to be brilliant - the 'Plant Discovery Garden'. We basically had it to ourselves, so were able to eat whatever we wanted - cinnamon, peppercorns, ginger, figs. I'm pretty sure that sort of behaviour isn't allowed, but what can I say? We're a couple of adventure travellers who play by there own rules.

Classic Orangutan tomfoolery 

Eating the cinnamon tree

We wanted to go a little deeper into the Sandakan area of Borneo, so we went to spend a couple of days at a little Homestay on the banks of the Kinabatangan River. This was a few days pretty much solely dedicated to wildlife spotting, whether it be Proboscis monkeys in the trees or tropical birds in the forest. We did three separate river cruises, but the highlight for me was the jungle trek. We had tried to get to an oxbow lake in our boat, but the little river was blocked by a felled tree, so we had to retreat and trek through the rain forest instead. This is how trekking should be! Not up a mountain, but hacking through the undergrowth with a machete, getting shin deep in mud and batting off aggro mosquitoes. At the end of our time in the Kinabatangan region, we both agreed that it was 'money well spent'.

A short flight through a lightning storm later, and we were back on the Malaysian Peninsula and got into Kuala Lumpur at 2.30am. We didn't do much the next day until the evening, where we made a pretty sizeable dent in a bottle of vodka playing a drinking trivia game, then headed back to the Bukit Bingtang district but this time more suitably dressed. Upon closer inspection of the bars we discovered that the drinks were too expensive, there were too many blokes, and most clubs were blaring deafening hip hop/dance music so I refused to go in. Therefore, we had a curry and went back to the overpriced Irish pub, ordered two £4.50 pints of Carlsberg, watched the cricket, then went home. Another massive night out fail in Kuala Lumpur.

Celebrating England beating India 4-0

From Kuala Lumpur the plan became a route due north straight up the west coast, moving from island to island. The first of these was Pangkor, a tiny island only 7km from top to bottom. There is no public transport available so the only way to get around was for me to man up and get over my fear of riding motorbikes. Frankly, I took to it like a duck to water and was zipping around in no time. As it happens, the island is so tiny we had seen everything by about midday, so parked up the hogs - The Green Hornet and The Green Growler - and hit an almost deserted beach. I proposed swimming to an off shore island, which was far more tough than I thought it was going to be (especially when being attacked by microscopic jellyfish). Once I'd got my breath back, Morts took me on a 'Swimming Nature Tour' round the island, taking in fish, crabs, sea cucumbers and a bat cave. His behaviour in the bat cave does make me wonder whether he has a future career as a tour guide though: 'I'm gonna f*cking rile them up', followed by screaming and splashing them with water as they slept.

Me and The Green Hornet

With Pangkor done, we moved on to Penang, a far bigger and more touristy island. We stayed in the Little India district of the main city Georgetown and needless the say the first thing we did the next morning was rent a new set of motorbikes. Driving a motorbike round busy city streets in the pouring rain is a very different experience to the empty country lanes of Pangkor, but I think I handled myself well and we took in a lot of the old British colonial sites that are scattered round the city. We did venture out of town for the afternoon and cruised along the north shore of the island towards Taman Negara, the 'must see' National Park on the island. We got to the front gate but were told we couldn't take our bikes in, so turned round and left. Another major tourist site ignored by me - just stick it on the pile with Chiang Mai, Pukhet, and The Great Wall of China. That night was a designated 'night out', and Morts had caught wind of a club called 'Slippery Senoritas' which he'd heard good things about. We pre-lashed with a savage game of 'Drinking Spartacus' then headed out in our best gear - my top even had sleeves! There was a really good live band on and the place was packed. We got chatting to a couple of Swiss girls, and despite Morts completely failing as my 'Wingman' and disappearing to make Malaysian friends at the bar, things worked out well for all.

The lads out at Slippery Senoritas

The next day was a bit of a fail as we recovered from the night before, then the day after we boarded the early morning ferry to our third and final island, Langkawi. Langkawi is where I am at the moment. I know it's been six weeks since I last blogged, and I could keep going about what we've been up to for the past few days, but I've been typing for hours and frankly can't be bothered. Keep an eye out for 'Adventure Travellers - Malaysia Part II' 

Cambodia and Thailand

Distance covered since last blog: 900km

As I have mentioned previously, I broke my camera in China and it took me a while to buy a new one, so in the interim I took lots of photos on my iPod. Unfortunately I lost my iPod recently, and with it all the photos of South East Asia. This is a pretty well travelled part of the world by the younger generation however, so maybe you have visited some of the places I went to and already know what they look like. So anyway, writing this on August 29^th, let me think back to what I was doing on July 18^th…

My final day in Vietnam was spent at the Cu Chi tunnels outside Siagon. These are a vast network of tunnels used by the Viet Cong during the ‘American War’ (as they call it in Vietnam). I was in a group of about ten and was the nerd that nobody likes, asking questions every 30 seconds, holding up the tour in the scorching heat, but I learnt a lot! Lunch was a typical serving of what a Viet Cong soldier would have eaten during the war, which we ate in the tunnels – a bowl of rice. I supplemented it with a tube of Pringles once I resurfaced. I had stayed in Siagon longer than I planned because my room had a television which was broadcasting the Open Championship, so I rushed home from the tunnels in the afternoon, bought some noodles and a few lagers and settled in for an evening of golf.

The next morning I made my way down to the bus terminal at the designated time of 7am (feeling a little bit worse for wear I admit). As it turned out the bus didn't leave for two hours, so I was able to hit a nearby tourist restaurant and order a huge Full English breakfast. The border crossing between Vietnam and Cambodia was simple enough, and before I knew it I was checking-in to the Spring Guest House in Cambodia's capital city, Phnom Penh. I've heard all sorts of differing opinions on Phnom Penh, but I can comfortably say it is my favourite of the SE Asian capital cities. It's barely even a city in fact, more of a big town, which makes it easy to walk around. Cambodian food has a big reputation, so I went straight out to track some of it down. I pushed the boat out and spent $4 on a squid curry and rice which was top draw. As you may be aware, Cambodia has some pretty tragic recent history and visits to some of these sites were at the top of my 'to-do' list. First of all was S-21, a converted school which was used by the Khmer Rouge government (1971-74) to torture anyone considered an enemy of the state - which was pretty much everyone. While I appreciated the poignancy of it, I was a little bit underwhelmed and felt that I was mainly looking at empty room after empty room where something bad once happened. I posed for a few photos with some kids on a school trip, chatted to a Samoan bloke about rugby, then hopped on the back of a motorbike and headed to my next destination - the Killing Fields. Now this was really dark. Most inmates at S-21 were tortured, stuck in a lorry, taken to this surprisingly small field, then clubbed to death (to save bullets) and chucked in a pit. In the centre of the site is a structure containing 8,000 excavated skulls which I took a brilliant photo of (RIP iPod). Sorry to kill the buzz, but it's impossible to write about my 'Khmer Rouge Day' without mentioning these traumatic things. I got over it with a lovely beef curry on the river front.

Next on the predictable tourist route through Cambodia is Siem Reap, the 'gateway' to Angkor Wat and all its surrounding temples. This was a much more upbeat day out, anything Buddhist is usually fun, and I spent six hours exploring the temples with my tuk-tuk driver Michael. I probably should have left Siem Reap the next day, but they have a road in town called 'Bar Street' that I simply had to spend another day/night exploring. The third and final destination on my whistle stop tour of Cambodia was Battambang, a town Thomas assured me I had to visit. I took his advice and embarked on a 5 hour coach journey (where I was almost sick after overindulging on Bar Street), only to find I had arrived in the middle of a monsoon. I stuck it out for two days, but when the rain refused to relent I left, having barely ventured further than a literal stones throw from my hotel. Besides, I was keen to move on to one of the places I've been most eager to get to for this entire tour - Bangkok.

My bus dropped me right on Khao San Road, a real hub of activity 24 hours a day and an ideal place for young travelers to find cheap accommodation, drinks, street food etc. I asked a taxi driver to point me in the direction of my pre-booked hostel - he laughed and told me it was a 30 minute drive away. Bad start. Once I arrived however things started to look up, as I was immediately invited to have a beer with some youngsters (21/22) because I was 'the most interesting looking person' they had seen all day. Obviously one beer turned into 7 or 8, which then developed into bottles of the brilliantly named 'Hong Thong' rum. The group had swelled to about 15 people by this stage and there was talk of heading out to the nearby 'Sex District' and catching one of Bangkok's famous 'Ping Pong Shows'. I was pushing hard for this, and happily soon enough we were strolling down a strip of neon lights, blaring music and hundreds of Thai blokes trying to sell us all sorts of delights. In the end we decided on the wonderfully named 'Super Pussy' and I settled down in the front row with a Dutch girl and the cheapest drink available - a $6 beer. Needless to say soon enough there were all sorts of items flying about - pens, plastic darts, shot glasses and of course ping pong balls. I was hit square in the chest by a flying banana from about 12 yards away. Credit to the girl - 'Super' indeed! Next stop was the nearby 'Gay District', which for some reason has drinks at half the price - this might be to make up for the fact that you are being constantly hassled by lady boys. I wasn't complaining though: cheap whiskey and coke and friendly lady boys to chat to (and just to confirm, chat with them was all I did). At 5am I decided it was time for breakfast (ripped off - $7 for a small bag of peanuts) then back to the hostel for a nightcap glass of Hong Thong on the roof to watch the sunrise with the rest of the crowd who had lasted the distance. Great debut night in Bangkok!

The next day was almost a complete write-off, until I forced myself to leave the hostel at 3pm and head back to Khao San Road and get myself some of the famous street food. I managed to blag myself a free tuk tuk, with the agreement that I visit the driver's friends tailors on the way. I spent 5 minutes browsing various fabrics with absolutely no intention of buying anything. Once the owner realised this he lent in close to me and whispered 'You want girls? I have girls upstairs'. Bangkok eh?! I left with no suit or girl, and made it to Khao San. There is a real hussle and bussle about the area which I would have enjoyed more had I not been so disgracefully hungover. Within 30 minutes I was really struggling and took cover in a bar with air conditioning and watched a replay of some Italian domestic football. Once I felt suitably recovered I hit the street and went on a small eating binge - one Pad Thai noodles, 3 BBQ skewers, a BBQ chicken wing and some stir-fried beef in an English muffin. Top draw! The following day I actually manned-up and did some proper sight-seeing of Bangkok, which mainly consists of the spectacular Grand Palace in the centre of town, but I feel like once you've stared 'down the barrel' at an incoming banana, you've seen about as much of Bangkok as you need to. 

Next stop was Krabi, a town right down in the south of Thailand which is a useful port for getting to nearby islands.  I took an overnight bus from Bangkok to Krabi, and as usual I barely got any sleep and arrived in one of my usual bad moods and almost immediately threw a strop. Everyone else was whisked away in helpful taxis while I had to wait like a mug for 20 minutes while my driver finished his breakfast! Eventually he let me in the minibus, but then said we weren't going to leave until more people arrived, then he buggered off for a cup of tea with his mates! The only good thing about having to wait so long was that I had time to come up with this brilliant play on words: I was crabby in Krabi! I didn't hang around too long, and took the ferry to the island of Ko Phi Phi, once again on Thomas' recommendation. This time he got it right, and I spent 4 days on this idyllic little island. I can't really explain specifically what I did on Phi Phi, but most of my days included many, if not all of these things: reading on the beach, snorkeling, fresh seafood lunches, ice cold beers and football on the big TV in JJ's bar. I started getting photos again, so here are a couple which hopefully act as some sort of explanation as to why I loved it so much there:   

I stayed one day longer on Phi Phi than I planned because I was loving it so much, which meant that I no longer had time to make it to Kuala Lumpur by bus if I was to be there in time to meet Morts on August 11th. Therefore I had to take the rather extravagant step of flying from Krabi to KL, and landing just 12 hours before Morts was scheduled to arrive. Or so I thought...